The top indicators that YOU watch too much wrestling. Not in any particular order…
1. You start dreaming about it.
*Seriously, I probably have a wrestling related dream once every two-three months. The last one I actually got ribbed my JBL in the dream. That fat bastard.
2. Empty box = Table.
*If anytime you see a large empty box, and you’re dying to drop an elbow through it…you watch a lot of wrestling.
3. You think about blading when shaving.
* Thinking about it is ok, if you actually did it…you need help. Unless you find Dusty Rhodes and Steve Corino’s foreheads attractive.
4. You see a black man with long dreads, you automatically think of Booker T.
* Unless you’re actually a black man yourself…then I couldn’t answer what you think of.
5. Your wrestling DVD collection doubles or even triples your movie DVD collection.
6. You perform wrestling moves on other people…even when you aren’t wrestling them.
* Applying Sharp Shooters on girlfriends? Check. Piledriving brothers through empty boxes? Check. Chopping your friends followed by a WOOOOOOOOO…check. I even got in some Bret Hart body shots.
7. When you notice Barbed Wire on a fence you wonder what time of night you could come back…just to steal it for a wrestling match.
*Unless you are like my friend Rollz…who steals first and asks questions later.
8. You cut promos on people when angry…or even to the mirror by yourself.
9. Spray paint = NWO
10. When you shop at the hardware store you think about wrestling.
*Ladder? Hardyz. Fencing? Hell in a Cell. Staple gun? New Jack. Light bulbs? XPW. Sledge Hammers? Triple H. It’s wrestling heaven at Lowes!!
11. You try to lock on a figure four…during a real fight.
12. Whenever you're at a funeral, and the procession starts, you get chills and start to look for fog creeping down the isle.
13. If you have seriously considered swantoning off your roof into a snow bank in February.
*Don’t try leaves…they don’t break your fall. Believe me.
14. You want to add spikes to your hockey or football shoulder pads.
*Whhhaaaatttt aaaaa RUUUUSH.
15. You have attempted to build a wrestling ring…and failed…numerous times.
16. You went to Disney World and refused to ride Space Mountain because it made you feel gay.
17. You write a wrestling blog.
*Fuck off.
18. The only books you’ve ever read page for page in your life…are wrestling books.
*On that note, pick up the Jericho and Bret Hart books…AWESOME.
19. Your girlfriend can name a good portion of WWE wrestlers.
*Now if she can name TNA guys as well…you watch wayyyy too much wrestling.
20. You wonder if you could take a bump on thumbtacks.
21. You are reading this list!!!
1. You start dreaming about it.
*Seriously, I probably have a wrestling related dream once every two-three months. The last one I actually got ribbed my JBL in the dream. That fat bastard.
2. Empty box = Table.
*If anytime you see a large empty box, and you’re dying to drop an elbow through it…you watch a lot of wrestling.
3. You think about blading when shaving.
* Thinking about it is ok, if you actually did it…you need help. Unless you find Dusty Rhodes and Steve Corino’s foreheads attractive.
4. You see a black man with long dreads, you automatically think of Booker T.
* Unless you’re actually a black man yourself…then I couldn’t answer what you think of.
5. Your wrestling DVD collection doubles or even triples your movie DVD collection.
6. You perform wrestling moves on other people…even when you aren’t wrestling them.
* Applying Sharp Shooters on girlfriends? Check. Piledriving brothers through empty boxes? Check. Chopping your friends followed by a WOOOOOOOOO…check. I even got in some Bret Hart body shots.
7. When you notice Barbed Wire on a fence you wonder what time of night you could come back…just to steal it for a wrestling match.
*Unless you are like my friend Rollz…who steals first and asks questions later.
8. You cut promos on people when angry…or even to the mirror by yourself.
9. Spray paint = NWO
10. When you shop at the hardware store you think about wrestling.
*Ladder? Hardyz. Fencing? Hell in a Cell. Staple gun? New Jack. Light bulbs? XPW. Sledge Hammers? Triple H. It’s wrestling heaven at Lowes!!
11. You try to lock on a figure four…during a real fight.
12. Whenever you're at a funeral, and the procession starts, you get chills and start to look for fog creeping down the isle.
13. If you have seriously considered swantoning off your roof into a snow bank in February.
*Don’t try leaves…they don’t break your fall. Believe me.
14. You want to add spikes to your hockey or football shoulder pads.
*Whhhaaaatttt aaaaa RUUUUSH.
15. You have attempted to build a wrestling ring…and failed…numerous times.
16. You went to Disney World and refused to ride Space Mountain because it made you feel gay.
17. You write a wrestling blog.
*Fuck off.
18. The only books you’ve ever read page for page in your life…are wrestling books.
*On that note, pick up the Jericho and Bret Hart books…AWESOME.
19. Your girlfriend can name a good portion of WWE wrestlers.
*Now if she can name TNA guys as well…you watch wayyyy too much wrestling.
20. You wonder if you could take a bump on thumbtacks.
21. You are reading this list!!!
3 comments:
Lol nice blog. I've felt the rath of all named in Number 6.
Damn straight biatch!
I got a pretty good laugh while reading this list. Let's see I'm guilty of numbers 1,2,4,6,8,10,18,20,& of course 21. Lol.
Charles H. aka Bad News C
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